Do you think things happen 'for a reason'?

[Fiona]

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I wasn't sure where to place this thread, somehow it felt right to put it here...

Anyway, I wanted to ask you all your opinion on this:

Do you think everything happens in our lives for a reason?
Do you believe there is something deeper going on, such as God, guiding us on the path we are on?
Or is everything a series of random choices and chances?

I wanted to ask because for some time, I believed that there was a purpose behind everything.. that the things I went through or experienced was part of a bigger picture guided by a higher force such as God..... Now I wonder whether life is just a random journey....with God there, but not neccessarily guiding or influencing us...

I think the reason I feel compelled to ask this is because of things going on in my life right now and the lives of people I love (I won't delve into on here!) that make me think - I thought life was going in a whole other direction, or that choices I thought would be good for me have turned out to be bad... and I wonder - is this really because I am SUPPOSED to be experiencing this, or is it all just random? Are we all just muddling through our paths in life and hoping for the best - or are we constantly guided and learning from our experience?

I know no one can give a definite answer because this is just down to personal beliefs, but I'd LOVE to know what you think.

Thank you

[Ali]

I do believe things happen for a reason. We may not know the reason, or ever know. I believe it is all our life plan. We are here for spiritual growth. What would we learn if life was easy? It may seem at the time that the situation is too much to bare, but upon reflection, you will realize it was just a bump in the road.

I will share an experience that really tried my inner strength.

Some of you know that since 2005 I was the caregiver for both of my parents as they went through the end of life separately. My father lasted ten months from when he had a massive stroke, and contracted MRSA at an acute hospital, to passing. Dad resided at a sub-acute on life support when he was stable, but would make frequent emergency visits to acute hospitals.

One of the emergency visits to an acute was for septic shock (he survived septic shock appox. four times). It was to a catholic hospital. My family is not catholic, but an acute is an acute. As we sat with Dad in ICU a nun walked by. I was not in a good mental place. I stopped the nun. She was an older lady. I asked her if I could ask her opinion on one concern of mine. I asked her, how could God be so cruel to put my father through all of this, and it was not right for my mother to have to watch him go through it. In the calmest voice I have ever heard she told me something like..."Honey, it is not our place to ask. It is God's plan. You do not realize it now, but someday you will draw on this experience to help others. It may happen soon, or it may take a long time, but you will help others going through it".

That was in 2006, and I have been able to relate and talk to others. I do not know that I was able to help, but I was able to understand and show compassion. I get it.

Just remember, no matter if you do not understand the reason for the hardship, it does not mean it was not suppose to happen. Reflection in the future will put a lot of events into a different prospective than what you feel now.

[Fiona]

Thank you for that post, Ali.

It must have just been incredibly tough for you to watch your dad go through that. I can't imagine what that must have been like - but I am glad that you feel you learned important lessons from it, and that you felt there was a purpose behind it all.

That's where I am at right now - I don't really want to delve into the personal matters on here - but there is an ongoing situation with me and also somebody I love, and it is really taking its toll. There are times in life when we are tested, and maybe something I have already learned is this: It's easy to have faith and believe in purpose when life is easy - why suddenly question it all when life gets hard? I don't want to be somebody who weakens so easily.

The issues going on at the moment with me aren't huge, life-changing issues, but it's enough to make me question why I am in this position and what question how things can go from feeling so right to so wrong in such a short space of time.

I want to be like you, Ali, and get a positive frame of mind and stick steadfastly to my beliefs at such a time. I think deep down I'll always believe there is a purpose to this all.. it's just hard to see what at the time...

[Ali]

Fiona- Believe me, I was not in a positive, right frame of mind when I was going through it. I was a wreck. I just lived day to day. I questioned God all the time. I wanted to control something that was beyond my control. It was not until I turned it over to God did I get any peace at all (I am not religious, but do believe in a higher power). By no means did I not worry, or stress. I just felt I had a clearer head to make the decisions that had to be made.

You are not weak. A weak person would not question anything, or try to carry on. I believe weak people run from situations, and deny anything is happening. A strong person does what has to be done.

Of course, I would never want you to divulge your situation of a personal nature. This may, or may not apply. If personal danger is involved, you need to have a plan. Sometimes we have to make choices for self preservation. I hope I am not overstepping by posting that.

Fiona, as I mentioned I am not religious, but I do believe in God. May I suggest pray. Just talk to God. I believe God is pure love, and he/she would never steer you wrong. If you ever need someone to listen, or just to vent, you are welcome to PM me.

Think positive, no matter how hard it is.

[Fiona]

Thank you so much Ali. You're being wonderful.
I pray regularly - I always have done - and at times that does deliver some peace. I've always had a belief in a higher power, such as God, and this has seen me through some tough times in the past.

And how right you are - I need to think positive! I also have some great things going on at the moment and I need to remember to be appreciative of that.

[lightkeeper]

I used to think that there may have been some sort of master plan,perhaps put in place by God. The older I get & the more that I learn the more that I feel that most things happen due to random sequences. Your life choices may certainly lead you in the "right" or "wrong" direction regarding health, sucess,relationships etc..
What is the Reason behind the brutal death of an innocent child ?
I could list lots more examples - but - that's the one that most
makes me question.

[Ali]

Unfortunately, bad things happen to good people all the time. I do not know anyone that has a perfect life. It seems to either be money, health, tragedy, etc. Life is not easy.

Who knows why any of the trails and tribulations of life occur. I do not think all of them are by choices made while on earth. No one choices to be a victim of a crime, contract an incurable disease, be born with a defect, and so on. It is what you, and others, learn from any experience that matters.

Do we know if any, or all, of it is our predetermined path in life? No. I do believe the majority is predetermined. One does not learn certain lessons without a lesson plan in place.

I hate to assume, but I do not believe you meant the "brutal death of an innocent child" is by any choice made by the child. The reason such a horrific act occurs is incomprehensible. I do know a few people, one being a dear member here at TP, that have lost children in a brutal crime, or accident. There is no justification for the loss. Only God knows that answer.

Does any of us fully understand the true meaning of life? No. Do any of us have all the answers? No. We can only learn from each other, and show compassion/love for mankind. I do believe we are here on earth to further the development of our souls.

[Roland]

In a way i do but for the most part i think people cause their own good fortune or bad.I don't really have any idea what or who would be directing my events or having a hand in them.But i accept the the opinion that it is a possibility.

I have known some very devout people who were very religious and spiritual and still bad health or bad luck followed them.And on the flip side really mean and selfish people i have known have prospered.
This is just my honest answer to your question and in no way diminishes or tries to imply anything about anyone's beliefs.

[Ali]

Roland- Everyone is entitled to their opinions. That is what makes all of us individuals.

I agree to a certain extent that we have an influence on certain events. You can make the choice to surround yourself with positive individuals/events, or not. I choose to be around positive. I have reach a point in my life that I weed out the negative. Life is too short to allow people/situations bring me down. Unfortunately, not all situations are that simple.

In my prior posts I am referring to situations that are thrown at you. You do not choose for these things to happen. Not everything in life is a choice. Crap happens. You have to pick yourself up, and carry on. I do not believe in self-pity. You do what you need to, and carry on.

I heard a lyric once that became my motto... "Thunderstorms could never stop me".

[scarygirl67]

So much of how I feel about it comes from personal experiences. Without boring you with the details, my life has been a series of bad choices...for a very long time. I spent a lot of time blaming everyone else, including God, for those choices. And then I realized that not only had I made my own bed..I was making the choice to continually lie in it.

There are things that were beyond my control..and those were things that I had to accept. I had to accept that I have a daughter who cares nothing of anyone but herself..because of choices she, as an adult, is making. I had to accept that I have a child who is autistic and may possibly need assistance for the rest of her life...and a list of doctors ten feet deep who have no real idea what to tell me.

When I think about REASONS for why things happen, to be honest, it makes me sink right back into that bed that I lay around in for so many years, covered in a quilt of self-pity and laying on a pillow of guilt. The fact is, whether it was a choice or something beyond my control...every single experience in my life I have learned from. I have grown from it. It didn't kill me, and it DID make me stronger.

That's what I take away from life's little curve balls...and do know Fiona, that my PM box is always open if you ever want to talk. And Ali..what can I say. Every so often, I am reminded of why I treasure someone's friendship so much..your posts here today are one of those "every so often's". Well said, my friend.